Saturday, February 13

Happy Valentine's Day!

I'm pretty sure not having these Love Spectacles in my life is what has kept me from finding my True Love. But, never fear, I am now all set. I will let you know how it turns out. If the glasses work, my mother's dollar will have been very well spent. Thank you Mom.

Friday, February 5

Face It

I have some advice for you, my friends:

After you go on an exceptional run...and you are walking in the house-(still reveling in what a big-shot you are for breaking your 6-mile record)...in the dark, rounding the corner you've rounded a thousand times...be careful.

Because if you aren't, you may run a thousand miles an hour SMACK into the wall. You will wonder when and how the wall grew just enough inches longer to fully flatten your otherwise happy little nose. And, your nose will be bleeding before you even peel it off the wall. And you will laugh, even though the blow brought instant, unthinking tears to your eyes, probably because you popped your tear ducts too; you WERE going fast.

The next day, you will feel like someone shot you in the face, through your nose, of course. You will wonder if you will die, you will be pretty certain your brain is swollen and that this REALLY might be the hill you will die on. And you will take some Tylenol and ice your face. And you will live.

But next time, you will turn on the light. And probably just walk as you round the corner you've rounded a thousand times...