Our professor walked in with a cheery welcome and asked us all what was wrong...we were surprised she hadn't heard anything and we all at once started talking to fill her in. As a class we processed our thoughts (this is the benefit of being in a social work major...we process a lot). I remember the next professor (who was teaching some kind of global class...) trying to be calm but sounding anything but as she told us how things would be okay and how we as a nation would recover from this.
Don't remember much about the rest of the day...except that I felt scared...and older. I thought "if you wanted to wipe out a bunch of people at a time, a college campus would be a good way to do it..." but then quickly thought "but I'm in Utah...we're not exactly the most interesting target." Watched the news most of the day...
Anyway. Tenth anniversaries are big I guess. I've been trying to figure out why, maybe because it's been long enough to see change and progress, but short enough to still really feel the impact. I still feel it. Surprises me how much I do, considering how far I live from NYC and how the events of that day did not affect my life nearly as much as they did the lives of hundreds of thousands. But I guess it affected all of us in terms of realizing how vulnerable we are...how evil some people can be...and how fragile life is.
In 2009 I went to NYC with Mom, Linds, Kim and Suz. We had a great trip...while there we went to ground zero. There wasn't much to see because the fences were too high to see over...but we did walk to St. Paul's cathedral.
There were candles lit and signs hung...but the ones that got me were cards and drawings like this one:
I love the response from Joe...a real fire fighter...
On another one, a child had written these words in alternating red and blue marker:
"We really love our country, thanks for helping the people. We want to punish the terrorists. Thanks for helping clean up the city. I hope you get the job done and you get to go home to your family."
Yep...I was just riiiiight crying there in St. Paul's.
Anyway. I'm surprised at how much I've cried in the last few days. For some reason, I feel like it's not warranted...like I wasn't close enough to it all to care that much....but...I do and I cried when I read from cover to cover the 9/11 special edition of Time. I cried when I watched this: "9/11 Boatlift", a youtube video about the water rescues that took place that day. I sighed when I found out Areta flew home yesterday...and is not flying today. Because...just in case... (She did tell me the airport and her flight were both pretty much empty...someone from the news interviewed her and got video of her hugging her sister goodbye before she got back on the play to head home). And I'm wondering how my buddy from this flight is doing today, on his birthday.
I don't know that I'll ever be able to watch footage of the firefighters...rushing in as everyone else was rushing out...without feeling so much gratitude swirled in tears rise up. There is evil in the world, but there is so much more good. And for that, I am grateful.
Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
