Thursday, January 14

whole world in his hands-part three

so tonight at the temple i wondered about a lot of things. including...how heavenly father can know about me in a non-spanish temple session (apparently they are 1st and 3rd thursdays...whoops), the woman who found out today she has cancer, the people in haiti who are still trapped in collapsed buildings, the 3rd grader who is scared to death of his spelling bee tomorrow, the couple who has just decided to divorce, the couple who just got engaged, the family members living in the united states wondering if their relatives in haiti are alive or dead, the woman who just found out she is finally pregnant after 4 rounds of in-vitro, the parents who are praying for their wayward child, the girl who wrote "haiti" on a slip of paper for the prayer roll tonight at the temple and hoped that no one would get mad-since technically, there isn't a special relationship...but still, the couple who was just told that a birth mother has chosen them, the worry a therapist has constantly in the back of her head for 2 different clients who are suicidal enough to be a concern but not enough to involuntarily commit and hopefully going to make it for their appointments next week, the prayers of a relief society president in boston who aches for everyone in the world because her heart is gold, the loneliness of thousands for a multiplicity of reasons...and the many kiddos all over the world tonight who prayed for and found the stuffed animal that they ALWAYS sleep with.

i'm so glad he's in charge.

so glad.

Sunday, January 10

01/10/10

2010. Pretty much sounds like a sci-fi date I heard back when I was about 10...a date that would never get here. Only it did. I'm pretty sure that I imagined that in 2010 there would be flying cars, little "Jetson-esque" appliances that would create and cook your food for you, and other such "inventions of the future." Turns out 2010...is just another year. One that I'm looking forward to. It's also the beginning of a new decade...which makes me think about all that has changed in the last ten years...here's a little rundown of the the last 10 years of my little life:
  • served a mission
  • completed my bachelors degree
  • completed my masters degree
  • got rear-ended on the freeway, said goodbye/hello to totalled/new Corollas
  • moved to Arizona
  • spent at least 1 year wondering WHY I moved to Arizona
  • was excited and devastated when friends Lisa and Sher left the single world and joined the married world
  • worked at Tertulia-loved the darling Hispanic kids
  • realized I hated driving to Phoenix everyday-terrible commute
  • stressed about the hassle of licensure to become an LCSW (licensed clinical social worker)
  • met Kat @ Tertulia-we're a strange little mormon-atheist combo...good friends
  • had lots of fun with roommates Amy, Natalie and Alisa-usually involved singing, dancing, and on occasion, the Seahawk 400 by moonlight
  • left Tertulia to work at SBH-"trial by fire" in community mental health agency
  • learned a ton at SBH
  • met new friends Rachelle and Megan (sisters)-worked with Rachelle @ SBH and loved all the fun we had together there
  • jumped through all necessary hoops for LCSW licensure, almost wept with joy when it was complete
  • was in an amazing singles ward for 4 years-met many great friends
  • was sad when that ward was dissolved
  • went (with some trepidation) to a family ward
  • loved my new ward
  • became good friends with Areta and her family when they moved to Gilbert
  • spent many hours with Areta and family-they became an extension of my family
  • cried at the kitchen table over pizza when Claire announced (accidentally) that they were moving back to UT
  • got teased profusely for crying at the table over pizza
  • began running on a more regular basis
  • taught Sunbeams
  • loved and adored the Sunbeams
  • cried when I moved and had to leave the Sunbeams
  • enjoyed trips with family to Lava Hot Springs-had so much fun there
  • started working at LDS Family Services 1 day a week
  • met great friends there
  • was excited for my friends who began families
  • cried a little about not beginning a family....still
  • spent hours with Cami and family-swimming, talking, cooking, laughing, movies, shopping, coloring, walking...lots of Sundays at her house...many fun hours
  • started working @ Family Strategies-left SBH
  • was happy to be working in private agencies, out of community mental health
  • met Kathy and her family-who have become family
  • cried-struggled-worked-journaled-grew
  • began regular lunches with my dear friend and co-worker Anita
  • flew home to UT many times...for weddings, summer and winter visits, etc.
  • never had enough time at home, spent a week "mourning" every time I came back to AZ
  • moved in with Rachelle and Megan
  • new ward-new calling-gospel doctrine teacher
  • became better acquainted with friends Sue and Norm-love them both dearly
  • realized that moving to AZ was absolutely a good choice-settled in
  • ran my first 5k, 10k and half-marathon races
  • loved having UT friends and family visit
  • "The Great Closet Cleanout of 2009"-Areta deserves a purple heart for her valor in that endeavor-I vaguely remember that at one point, I may or may not have been on the floor crying at the pain of 1-saying goodbye to so many clothes and 2-being forced to focus on one task for what felt like 14 hours straight.
  • got introduced to woot.com and steepandcheap.com
  • bought more than a few items from the websites mentioned above. danger.
  • trips: Hawaii, Boston, New York, Pennsylvania, Utah (many), Kansas
  • went on some dates. some were great. others-well, that's a topic for another post.
  • got teased some more for crying over pizza at the kitchen table
  • got a bodybugg
  • became best friends with bodybugg and lost 60
  • got introduced to boxing, fell in love, bought my own pink gloves
  • learned that the 30's...are a great decade...a good place to be in life
  • laughed, cried, played, learned, stressed, ached, slept, hugged, loved, smiled, prayed, wondered, suffered....grew.

Good 10 years overall. Amazing how much can change in 10 years... Let's see what the next ten bring...

Holiday Fun 2009

I had a great time with family and friends. I was able to spend a little time with a couple of friends, wish I had time to see everyone...not possible though. :( I'd say the highlight was being amused by darling Cayden...had so much fun watching him, he is the funniest kid. He is absolutely adorable and I am grateful I got to spend lots of time with him. Had fun with family, was entertained at both the Blair and Harmer Christmas parties...mostly by my siblings. Due to the unsecured nature of this blog, (meaning I can't be certain who reads it), you-the reader will miss out on some quality family party stories that will have to remain untold. Sad day. But I am laughing to myself as I type this...sorry I stole the bathroom Rand. A little sorry. But not very.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year!

Sunday, January 3

"Way Better Than the Last Flight"

I had a great flight home on Friday night. Mostly because I was lucky enough to sit by two adorable unaccompanied (and unrelated) kids. Two little boys, I'm guessing the middle seat boy was about 6 and the window boy was probably 9.

The younger one, right next to me was adorable. I tried not to ask too many questions as I was guessing he'd gotten a "Don't talk to strangers" schpill prior to getting on the plane....but I did say hi and ask him where he was headed. "Home-well, back to mom's house."

We sat quietly for a second before he nudged my arm and said "Hey, wanna know how I got that backpack?" (pointing to a new-looking navy backpack under the seat in front of him). "Yes, tell me!" "Well, I won it! At my dad's new wife's mom's bingo thing...and there were teenagers there, who won Wonder Woman ones." "Oh my gosh, what did they think of that?" "Well, they were BOYS so I bet they hated it..." "Yeah, you're way lucky that you got a boy backpack." "I know, huh?"

From there it was non-stop talking, Tyler and I became good buddies. Found out his name from the "I love Tyler" note on the napkin his step-mom packed in his dinner....when he saw it he said "oh, nice....she always writes me nice stuff like that." I noticed that he kept it. Tyler had been visiting his dad. He gave me fairly in depth movie reviews on: Avatar, Sherlock Holmes, New Moon, Terminator 3 and several others. I was not pleased to hear that this little wonder, whose feet did not even touch the floor, had seen many movies that I would never see myself, let alone allow a cute kiddo like him to see. I was also not surprised then, when he told me the snowman he made that day had "squished cherries for eyes that looked like they were bleeding....and was wearing a bikini." Oh Tyler, dang it.

This is the same boy who, when he spilled his hot chocolate, said: "Oh man! Now it looks like I peed my pants!" To which I replied "Nah, it's on the sides and besides, it'll dry before we even land, watch." About 30 minutes later "Yeah, look, it's almost dry...good!" He almost didn't get a drink...and when he finally did he said "Yeah, they sell it for free." Darling boy.

I watched as he and the boy next to him perused the SkyMall magazine...they'd often poke me and say "Hey, look at this...it's R2D2" and show me their favorites...the things they wish they had. I always love watching how kids can become friends in seconds. The older boy was a bit showy and bossy...he's been to China, has a PSP AND a Wii, goes flying in his uncle's jet all the time...etc. He was visiting his grandparents. I did wonder what grandparent sends a child on a plane with three hot dogs (cold in the original bag...and bunless)...and a huge back of chips. (I also wondered the circumstances that allowed his parents to be okay with not having him on Christmas...but I'm sure I don't know the details.) But, he did love the hot dogs and boasted that once he ate a whole pack. I believed it. He tried to get Tyler to give up his sandwich. I was proud of Tyler for holding his own...although he did share his fritos and oreos with neighbor boy...and offered them to me as well. I pretty much adored Tyler. When he got his pretzels and peanuts, he was very obviously distressed about what to do with his gum. I laughed inside as I (as I do daily) just swallowed mine. But after my snacks were gone and he was still sitting with them burning a hole in his tiny hands, I held out my wrappers and said "Here, put your gum in here." He said "Are you sure, are you done?" He said thanks about 6 times. Very polite and kind kid. Pretty much wanted to keep him.

While looking @ SkyMall, he saw an ad for pictures of various Presidents of the US. He casually asked "So, who did you vote for?" "McCain." "Me too," he replied. He then said, "I don't like Obama." "Oh really, how come?" "He's letting bad people into our country." When the two little boys started talking about 9-11, (September 11th is the older boy's birthday), I don't know that I've ever felt more sad about it. Hearing them talk about it (keep in mind Tyler was not even born when it happened, but was very aware and when we landed said "Phew, I was worried we were gonna get hijacked") made my heart hurt. The older boy said "Oh, they made all these new laws and stuff, so now it's like way safe-it can't ever happen again now." Tyler responded "Yeah, we're like the most safe because someone just tried it, but got caught..so once that happens the bad guys get scared and don't try it for a while so there's like 99.9999% chance that they won't try again for a long time...til they forget about getting in trouble and try it again. But not today, not for us."

As we got close to landing he said "I hope my mom is there. Sometimes she is late..." He wiggled and squirmed and seemed generally nervous. I responded and was grateful with the neighbor boy also said "Oh, she'll come, and besides, they won't leave you, they have to stand right next to you till your parent gets you, it's the rules." Sometimes reassurance works better coming from another kid.

Shortly before landing, Tyler said "this was way better than the last flight." I'm not sure why he said that, but I hoped it was a little because he sat by two people who listened to him. (9 yr old even shared his DS briefly, although he was a bit critical of how Tyler drove the race car). We landed and said goodbye but I stuck around the terminal, interested to see who the parents were of each of these boys...and especially hoping Tyler's mom was on time. She was. Phew.

At baggage claim, Tyler saw me and said excitedly "Oh, hey! Hi!!!" His mom looked at me strangely, and I said "Is this your son? I got to sit by him on the plane, he is a great kid, very smart, very kind." She smiled weakly at me, said "I know" and turned away. Hmmm. If I was the mom and found out an adult had been kind to my child who had been flying alone, I would have responded differently I think. Neither she nor her boyfriend seemed very interested in Tyler's stories as he excitedly chatted while waiting for his luggage. Situations like that kill me. People like me...dying for kids...parents like that...annoyed by the children they do have. Crazy.

Anyway. Long post. But...it's been 2 days and I'm still thinking about darling, baby-faced Tyler with his glasses, star wars t-shirt and new backpack from step-grandma's bingo....