Stuff.

Sometimes I wonder/worry about who might be reading this little blog...I know there are a few people but I'm worried about the silent stalkers because I never know how bold or honest to be here. I censor quite a lot out of a ridiculous (and maybe narcissistic?) concern/hope that this blog is making it out to more than 2 people...

Now, don't panic or get excited, I'm about to give you deep or personal info, but I am confessing that I've learned that whether you spent 2 hours or 20 minutes on your Sunbeam lesson, you will still end up talking about bagels, seashells, star wars, and whether or not Madison has a tail. It's inevitable. So...it's 12:30 in the morning, my contacts are just about glued onto my eyeballs and I should be preparing for my 5 wonderbeams. Instead I am doing important things like wooting (woot.com), reading other people's blogs, and pondering life a bit and writing my own blog entries that may be far too representative of who I really am.

I am thinking about how much I love when it rains in Arizona, about how I can't believe we've had a dead lizard stuck between the screen and the glass at the window by our kitchen table for a full 2 years (especially since it grosses me out on a daily basis and I have to close the blinds every morning when I attempt to eat breakfast there), and wondering how long it will take me to pack up my stuff when it's finally time for me to move from this house. I wonder how long the rain will last, how many sunbeams will come tomorrow, approximately when I will thoroughly clean my room and how my little sister is doing.

I wonder about my clients, especially the kiddos on my caseload with the saddest hearts...there are times when the hard is especially hard and I've got some amazing little wonders with beautiful but sad-sad-sad hearts and in my free time, my mind wanders to them and what I can do to help them with their sad hearts. I wonder who I should hire to help me with my taxes and if I'll find a house this year to buy. I wonder about my friends in Utah and if they know how much I miss them. I wonder if my friends here know how much I appreciate them. I wonder if Chloe knows I would never miss her 6th birthday party in July and if she knows how much it still makes me smile that she made me an invitation in February for an unplanned party 5 months away. I wonder if Shirley knows that I worry about her heart problems and pray that she is strong and healthy for years to come. I wonder about many hundreds of other things that will never be posted here. And maybe never even said aloud.

And I wonder if I will stay awake in church tomorrow...