Wednesday, March 3

True Story: Part II

Well friends, I would like to tell you I went on a date with a darling, charming, intellectual, athletic and amazing man. I would like to tell you that on Sunday night, the paths of two lonely singles, not only crossed, but nearly collided-a chance of fate that simply was unavoidable...true love.

I would like to. But I'm a terrible liar. So instead. The Truth.

BikeBoy (name not to be revealed to protect...well, me mostly) texted me...and called me and texted me and called me...so much in 2 days that I was over it before it could even start. Knowing virtually nothing about me, the only questions he ever asked me were "Who do you live with?" and "Where do you live?" He didn't get any details to either question, but asked them both multiple times. A stalker with a bad memory? I don't know. When I asked him (normal people) questions like: What do you like to do? He answered "draw read meditate" when I asked what a few of his favorite books are, he took forever to respond with "Julie! I don't know!" I should know better than to ask such complicated questions.

Bottom line. He didn't pass the "safe enough to dine with in public" test...when he randomly texted "I'll have you"...when I asked him what he meant by that he denied having typed it and said "U must be talkin to some other guy cause i have not a clue wat you mean" and then quickly "Just call me when you're off work, we're still on for tonight, right?" and when I didn't respond "JUST CALL ME WHEN UR OFF WORK!" Tsk, tsk-doesn't he know that ALL CAPS in email or text represents screaming? I'm sorry. No. We don't scream at people when we're still trying to trick them into dating us. Bad form.

Sorry pal. When I delivered the bad news, he wrote ",.ok if u say so"...and while I admit my imperfection in writing and punctuation (I over-use the ellipsis on a constant basis), I have never seen anyone use a COMMA to start a sentence. Hmmm. I find it ironic that his last words were almost exactly his first words:

"Thanks again for almost killing me!"

Don't cry, friends. Not all is lost. I did manage to get a photo of him...and one of he and I. Enjoy.

11 comments:

Kathryn Crouse said...

Well done my friend. It still makes for a really good story. Hope you are feeling better by morning . . literally. Love ya.

Sue said...

,Proud of you for sniffing this one out (although maybe it wasn't all that hard!). ,Bad form indeed! ,Can't wait to see what this weekend brings - perhaps an afternoon at Trapeze U? ,One never knows whom one might meet on the highwire. ,Love you or luvU!!

Michelle said...

what a weird-o.
good call

Anna said...

oh, jules. so sad we live in the day where you don't change your number anymore. i once went salsa dancing and met the coolest cutest latin man. but but the following friday he was a full blown stalker, whom wanted to take me to the temple and spend eternity with me. changed my cell...i hope he leaves you alone.

red said...

Sounds like you saved yourself the trouble of an insanely uncomfortable evening. Next time I say run him down. The world needs one less stalker :) If he keeps contacting you I have no problem running over stalkers with my car, just sayin.

Suz said...

LOL! That is also a great ending to the story. Glad that it got all worked out before you went to dinner!

Rand said...

JULIE! WHERE WERE YOU TODAY. I've been texting you ALL DAY!

Sorry it didn't work out. I already had a meeting set up to sell the movie rights...

Linn said...

Oh my word, while I feel bad for you, that might well be the BEST POST EVER! (Yes, I was screaming there.)

A stalker with a bad memory?

Bad form with the all caps?

I seriously love you Jules!

And glad you aren't going out with ET. He has always creeped the living daylights out of me.

Mom B said...

Well, your non-date was probably more fun than the Chic-Fil-A incident. I would still love to see the movie...

Sher said...

I'm happy to know you're alive, Pally - and as much as it would have been an even more fascinating dinner story, so glad you made the right choice. He's a crazy. I can't believe how young you look in that picture - what facial cream do you use?

Rachelle said...

What a story! I'm glad you followed your instincts and promptings on this one my friend! He sounds a little strange....