Mother's Day-Part I

Mother's day growing up was easy and fun...usually involved construction paper cards or some amazing (you read: completely terrible looking) craft from school, including at least two ceramic jewelry boxes which I think mom kept for about 25 years. (I'm sure she wins the award, I'm guessing most moms ditched them about 24.5 years sooner).

So, it still is a great day..a smidge more complicated for me personally (for explanation please see the next post). I love my mom...have called her my "Kool-Aid" mom for about the last 10 years because in the kool-aid commercials, the mom always, always, always shows up with a smiley pitcher of kool-aid at precisely the right moment-assuring her perfect children would never get the slightest bit dehydrated. Granted, my mom loved us enough to NOT allow us to drink kool-aid endlessly...but she was the Queen of all the little things...presents on Valentine's day, green pancakes on St. Patrick's day, a candlelight pizza party on my tiny, tiny, tiny plastic "dishes," and bringing balloons and treats to the classroom for every birthday. She endured "pick-up picnics" (which I'll discuss during the Father's Day post), camping and other outdoor adventures well... She loved me then and loves me now. She worried about me then and she worries about me now. She always did her best...and I'm grateful for that. She was and is a great mom and I've learned so much from her.

No mother is perfect, and she's spent more than a minute apologizing for not being able to find me a REAL Cabbage Patch in 1983 when they were pretty much black-market...she thought the "American Kid" would do and my guess is that she was sad/surprised/devastated when her 5-yr old immediately ripped open the package to check the doll's hiney for the "Xavier Roberts" proof that it was an AUTHENTIC CPK...and found a signature-less bum...sigh. And she dealt pretty well with the teenage Jules who was somewhat mortified when her parents (ym/yw presidents at the time) disco danced during an activity in FULL disco attire. (Truth be told, they WERE good...I believe they had lessons at some point, true or false, mom?).

I was browsing the Mother's day cards recently and found one with a mom and her young son on the front. Inside it says "Behind every great kid is a mom who's sure she's screwing it up." My experiences as a therapist would support the fact that most moms try very hard to do everything they can to help their children. They don't always do things perfectly, but that would be impossible. And most moms worry so much about not being perfect. The older I get, the better my perspective gets (and those of you older than me might laugh because I still have so far to go...) but it's really starting to make sense. I'm sure that when I cross the bridge into motherhood, things will suddenly/abruptly make much more sense. Mom used to tell me "You'll like me when you're older." Well Mom, I'm older. Like you. Love you. Lots.

So...my message to my darling mom and the other women I know and love who are all amazing Mothers...You are amazing. You are making a difference. You are loved, you matter and there's no such thing as perfect parenting...and there doesn't have to be. Your influence reaches far, much further than you know. So. Take a deep breath and get back to relaxing. This is, after all, your day! I love you!