Eyes, Tails and Wight Saba's

Today in class...I'm recreating the script for you...

Me: And so we came to Earth to get a Bo...
A: Teacher, why are your eyes having red thingys in them?
Me: Oh I don't know. Is it just this one or both? My eyes are sore today a little.
A: It's both of them. Maybe it's cuz the red things keep your eyeballs in tight? Maybe if you don't have them your eyes could fall out?
Me: Hmm, I'm not sure about that.

He then proceeds to inspect the eyeballs of everyone in the room for further study. Survey says... teacher was the only one who didn't get enough sleep last night and has contact issues.

Later...
Me: And so our bodies have bones...
A: Does Heavenly Father have a tail?
Me: Nope, no tail. He looks just like us.
A: Well Mark has a tail. (Mark is the monkey who helps me teach my lessons)
M: I have a tail.
G: You do?!!? I wanna see your tail!
Me: I don't think Madison has a tail, guys. Only monkeys, cats, elephants and some animals have tails.

There was then a small crisis when the two girls both wanted Zip the cat. I carefully took Zip from their clutches and put her in my bag, saying "Zip needs a nap now." They were perplexed and said "Why?" I was pleased when my answer of "Well, because she's very tired" appeased them.

We went on and were talking further when same cute boy says: "Yeah, and we have Star Wohws movie. Der's Wuke. Wuke Skywaka. And he gets some guys arm off and it's WILLY cool. AND der's a wight saba...."

At the end of church....I am completely exhausted.

Speed Check

So, as many of you know, in the last year I have had a brush with the law. (Okay fine, 3 brushES) with the law. In regards to a baby bit o' speeding. I am reformed and the $260 receipt taped to my speedometer seems to be helping with all that. However, this does not change the fact that every time I see an officer of the law in a car or on a motorcycle, my heart pounds very quickly and I am filled with sudden terror. Including today around 7:10 am when I passed one and instantly thought "Oh crap, am I speeding?" At which point I laughed to myself...as not only was I not speeding, but I was also not IN A CAR. Yes, I was walking/jogging and at BEST going approx 5 miles per hour. I laughed all the way home.

Bodies and Bagels

So today after delivering what I was certain was a whiz-bang lesson covering the fact that we have bodies like Heavenly Father to the sunbeams complete with visual aids, songs, cute chants, pictures, mini beanie babies AND goldfish crackers...I asked them in review what they had learned...what they would tell their moms when they went home. Darling red-head Coleton responded:

"I'll tell her to buy more bagels."

Nevermind that bagels had 0% to do with our topic and the word bagel had not even been mentioned in the last hour.

We'll try again next week. Love you Sunbeams.

You Don't Say...

Therapy with kids never gets old. I am continually amazed with what they say...for instance. Today, darling 8 yr. old chubby little boy sits down and starts off by saying this:

little wonder: "Well, I can tell you I've learned one thing...and that is that if you're an ugly girl chasing a band, it's going to be bad for you."

me (laughing in my head, calm yet interested exterior...not sure what to even ask first): "what do you mean by band?"

little wonder: "oh, like the jonas brothers. you know, a band."

me: "okay. just checking. So what do you mean by chasing a band?"

little wonder: "just that...like if you're a girl, AND you're ugly, AND you're chasing a band,or like, following them, it's going to be bad for you...cuz like...the band will never pick you."

me (thinking...pick you for what? where did this come from, why are you telling me, what do I do with it?): "huh, that might be true...i'm not sure about all that....now, let's talk about your feelings check in..."

SO...moral of the story. If you're an ugly girl...don't chase the band okay?!?!? Just don't do it. You'll just regret it.