Amazing Gracie

Today was my last day with the WonderBeams. A few minutes into opening exercises of primary, I noticed that Grace was crying. I asked what was wrong but she wouldn't talk. Her mom was in the room and I asked her if she know why Grace was crying. She replied "I think she's sad you're going, the day you had a sub she cried like this the whole way through class." So her mom picked her up and held her and when mom had to go, Grace (still crying) came to sit in my lap. She snuggled into me and sat more still then I've ever seen her. Adorable. I don't know what it is but I've loved her from the first minute she told me she wanted a BIG chair, NOT a little one! She's fiesty and I love her heart. Darling little wonder. Her mom handed me a card and said "I want you to know this is what Grace told me to write, WORD for WORD!" And so, dear readers...here it is...my goodbye letter from Amazing Grace:

"Dear Sister Blair,
I like doggies. Puppies like a little bit of dots. I love you too. Little ghosts are swimming in a box. I'll miss you. Seven is little. Indian is five. Thank you for being my teacher."
Love, Gracie"

i STILL hate change

once upon a time, when i was 18, a friend of mine and i were in a "discussion" about something that at the time was important. when she felt she was losing the battle, her retort to me was "well....you just don't deal well with change." i sat there in the car thinking "that was a lame comeback...seriously, that's all you got?" now, i laugh and think "dang HER, she was RIGHT!"

i hate change. i love it, but i hate it. many things in my life have changed in the last several years (and months, and days). many more things will change in the next several. it will all work out for my good. but, sometimes, late on a saturday night...i sit down in the silence and dig in my heels and decide that change and i are not friends. it's a ridiculous battle. in the "jules vs. change" war...i always come out getting what i need, but not always what i think i want. and in the middle, i always squirm.

Happiness Is...

• running outside at sunset when the whole world smells like orange blossoms
• sitting in the hammock, talking on the phone
• friends who are consistent
• laughing so hard my insides hurt
• flannel sheets til May (yes, even in Arizona)
• sitting on the floor eating goldfish crackers with the wonderbeams
• realizing everything will be okay
• learning more about heaven, deciding it's not so bad
• flip flops all year long
• reconnecting with long lost friends who mean the world to me
• living through 3 yrs in a scorpion-infested house
• friday lunches with a friend who loves me and makes me laugh
• watching the kiddos with whom i work heal
• hearing the voices of people to whom i'm connected
• daring to clean out my closet and throwing lots away
• baked potato for dinner
• making friends with change
• long talks with people who listen to me
• being hugged
• a glass of chocolate milk after long runs (runner's world recommended)
• receiving letters in the mail
• noticing and loving little things people do...quirks
• the color red
• holding hands
• the smell of pine
• giving up trying to control people, things, situations
• "soft" people
• being friends with myself
• "try, try" by rachel mcgoye
• being friends with brave people
• depth
• crunchy leaves
• rowing in the seahawk 400 at dusk. especially at christmas...christmas lights on water. amazing.
• being comfortable in my own skin
• turning 30
• laughing when your business cards come in printed wrong...for the 2nd time
• having painted toenails...but never painted fingernails
• letting go
• staying up way too late, regretting it in the morning...repeating the cycle endlessly

oh man.

you know it's late when you're actually considering buying an underwater Hawk Scout Aqua Scooter off woot.com for $99.99. and you live in Arizona, AND you don't know how to scuba dive. at all. and you don't have even a home swimming pool.

Beams and such.

Good day with the WonderBeams....lesson was "I am grateful for water." When I asked a (poorly thought-out question) "What would we drink if we didn't have water?" and Grace screamed "MILK!!!" I laughed. Yes, milk. True. What was I thinking? I also learned that Adam has never in his 4 years seen snow. We all agreed that Waddle the Penguin lives on ice and for some crazy reason while talking about how we use water to bathe, I felt inclined to tell the kids about Zip the cat who takes baths, not with water, but with his tongue. They were fairly grossed out and yet, for some strange reason I feel quite confident that at least one or two of my beams are going to to deny conventional baths this week and request a "cat bath." Whoops.

Elise also asked if she could have some gum. When I told her I didn't have any she was quiet for a while. About 10 minutes later she said "Well, you could just share some of the stuff you already got in your mouth." And honestly, if I didn't think I would have been frowned at by every adult in the room, I would have given her half...because sometimes...you just want some gum.