Suffering...

I often write about frivolous and random things. Tonight, not so much. Spent much of today thinking about suffering. The role of suffering in the development of the soul. The purpose and need for it in our lives. How much (but not all) of the suffering I see in my job stems from disobedience...to the laws of God and man. Sometimes we create our own suffering. Sometimes others help us with that. Sometimes it comes for no reason at all and seems to steal happiness like the drop of a roller coaster steals our breath...in a moment.

Although I need to maintain some degree of "distance" from the people and/or issues I work with in my job as a therapist, there are still moments when I fight to keep my own tears in. And in my mind rattles around all I learned in grad school about professionalism, empathy, the therapeutic relationship, and the sacred responsibility I have to balance each of these elements in a way that allows (and hopefully even helps), a person to heal.

In the moments when the tears almost come I feel worried and then relieved. It is good to feel. When I have a devastated 5 yr old in front of me, I feel. When I have a teenager who hates everyone and everything in the room with me, I feel. When I stop in the silent moment to notice how very green the grass is and that the sky is still so blue, I feel. When I run across a darling friend whose heart is hurting, I feel. And when I stand with a pal under a full moon on a perfect October night to laugh at everything and nothing in a ridiculous conversation that is as inconsequential as it is monumental, I feel.